i am in the strangest mood and have no desire to be known
what do you do when eat the rich is thrown around at anyone perceived to be even moderately above the poverty line? i don’t mean wealthy, i mean simply have been able to dig themselves out of debt and have some little savings so they don’t live paycheck-to-paycheck? what do you do when the comments are gleeful and ghoulish about wishing for someone to have horrifically suffered and died? of course i agree that capitalism is a hellscape, but what do you do when you grew up in a diaspora still reeling with inherited trauma from the brutal enforcement of communism by the soviet union? how do you cope when eat the rich sounds all too similar at times to the purges you hear stories of, the dekulakization that made some of your own great-great-grand aunts and grand uncles disappear into thin air, or were shot point blank in the head, their blood left to be cleaned up by a wife, a neighbor, a child. how do you process the western fetishization of communism when your own family still bears scars from it? when the people who call for it, idolize it, froth for it have never once lived beneath it? when you are leftist and do want change but know that this isn’t it, it isn’t, it has never been?
i don’t know how to speak. i don’t know how to talk about it. i see people i call friends bang these drums and if i say a word about bullet holes in concrete walls and smashed teacups and waking up in the middle of the night to soldiers in your room your house your kitchen your bed then i am called out as a shitty moderate liberal. a centrist. an apologist for the capitalist nightmare.
one nightmare does not unmake another. there are enough of us among you who can tell you this, but you don’t want to listen. why do you claim you want those with experience to speak, why do you pretend to promote own voices, when you don’t listen to the ones that you don’t like
(via szczypawice)
